Re-Learning to Drive

New Jersey Driver Manual

Spending time with a friend of mine this week, I've come to see a perspective of driving with which I'm not the least bit familiar: one who does not drive. As I pointed out in my previous post ("You Never Forget Your First"), I jumped for my license, and have never been far-removed from my car since. But, growing up in New York City, the idea of not driving or owning a car was perfectly normal for my friend. Now that he's spending time with me in the suburbs, being able to drive is a necessity.

So, yesterday (the good friend that I am) I took my friend out on a very basic driving lesson. He already had a driver's license that has simply carried over from his teen years, but by his own admission: "It's been years since I've driven a car."

The first lesson? How to start the car. Three to five years ago, push button start was a feature limited to high-end vehicles and a few early-adopters. Today, it has become fairly common, even turning up in my Kia. It's a quick lesson to be sure, but one that I honestly wasn't even prepared for.

Other lessons included more of the basics, such as engaging the gears (fortunately this was an automatic), releasing the parking brake (a foot pedal) and adjusting seats and mirrors for optimal driving position and view.

Once on the road, the lessons are different and not as clear-cut. So much of driving, especially when you haven't done it in a long time, is about feel, vision, and comfort. I made the assumption that my friend would be able to pick up the fine art of driving with minimal instruction. After watching for a few minutes, I realized that he didn't have a great handle on spacing or driver inputs such as throttle, brake, and steering.

The biggest thing I noticed was that he was tentative, and preferred to err on the side of driving slower. I remember learning to drive and always wanting to go faster. Watching my friend, I realized that a big difference between adults and kids learning to drive is a sense of caution and need for safety. Kids are ready to take on the world, where adults have seen that the world doesn't always favor the bold.

For the most part, I let things go. I think he can drive safely, and with practice and experience will likely become a good driver. I have gone so far as to trust him to drive with my kids in the back seat of the car. What impressed me the most was his determination. During our ride, he spoke of driving more regularly, even suggesting taking a driver's education course. To me, asking for help to learn to drive as an adult takes guts, and I applaud that. His efforts reminded me of another brilliant adult whose friends encouraged him to drive -- The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon ultimately concluded that he was too evolved for driving. Watch!